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TheTinaFiteProject

Redesigning Myself…One Day At A Time!

starting over

Today, I made a huge decision. Well, let me back up for a second. In 2012, I gave birth to a little girl (a feat I was told that I would never be able to do and a feat that I’ll talk about in a later post) while facing my husband’s future deployment (yep, we’re a military family). So that he could follow our adventures, I created a blog called This Momma Stuff Just Got Real. After several weeks away, he returned and the true purpose of the blog dwindled, despite having followers.

I tried to salvage it by creating another blog with the same name as this one on health and wellness but it was short lived too as we moved and got busier in our lives.  Time got away from me and so did my memory of them. Fast forward to today: Independence Day of 2016. The day I freed myself of those two blogs. To me, it’s a big deal. To you, it’s the story of this blog’s history.

However, it’s a bigger deal than just a huge decision. It’s a brand new start. It’s a way for me to launch this blog with one purpose in mind: ME!  That’s right. It’s about me. It’s about me as a daily project. It’s about my constant struggle with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. It’s about my desire to lose weight. It’s about me loving myself despite sometimes not wanting to do so. It’s about me commiserating with women who feel the same way, with or without PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. It’s about me empowering women to go on throughout their day with the full knowledge that they can make it through simply because one more woman is going through a struggle too and they are aspiring to make it through too. After all, there is strength in numbers. It’s about living life, laughing at ourselves and loving every single minute of this ride.

In the words of Nina Simone’s song Feeling Good: it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me! And I’m feeling good! Thanks for reading today’s post! Stay tuned and join me on this endeavor to have a happier, more fulfilled life through the experience called: The Tina Fite Project.

 

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Featured post

An Announcement and A Lesson Update

Hi everyone!  Before I begin my post for today, I would like to let you all know that fresh content will be appearing twice a week instead of daily. I have to cut back due to life picking up speed in other areas and it’s taking up more time than I thought it would. My new content will appear on Wednesdays and Fridays.  I apologize if this announcement sucks for you but this is what happens when life moves the person behind The Tina Fite Project up a level. Now for the blog post.

When I first began The Tina Fite Project, I described myself as “a definite work in progress and a daily project that yields countless stories of hope, heightened self-esteem and a constant quest of self-acceptance and love.” Today, as life moves me up a level in this work, I’d like to share with you all five (5) lessons I’ve learned along the way.

  1. Be Humble. This statement is more than just a lyric off of Kendrick Lamar’s new album. It is a constant way of life. I’ve learned that having humility doesn’t only extend to the attitude needed when given something. Humility must also be used when things don’t work out in the desired way. It’s there to help us remain focused and present to our circumstances and to the people in our lives that are surrounding us.
  2. Be Grateful. I’ve had to really learn gratefulness all over again during the last level of The Tina Fite Project and I must say that one of the main things that I’ve honestly been missing had been the connection between gratefulness and humility. Even when things didn’t work out the way I desired at first, still being grateful for the experience helped me to have hope instead of solely frustration. It’s there to help us keep our eyes open to new opportunities that we might not have had otherwise as well as helping us to see the benefit of our desires coming to fruition in our lives.
  3. Time Waits For No One.  Usually when we see this statement, it most likely concerning death.  However, my challenge to you at this time is to see it as an opportunity to seize the day instead. What is it that you want to do with or in your life? What’s stopping you? Why haven’t you seized the opportunity? If your worst concerns were taken care of for you, would you seize the opportunity then? This lesson serves as a reminder that opportunities go as fast as they come. Wasting them isn’t wise because there will be a day when they will cease. Don’t let that be the day you’re finally ready.  Like Nike says: JUST DO IT!
  4. Make Moves In Silence Until You’re Ready To Answer For Them. This one is a hard lesson to learn but I think I’m getting the hang of it. So often, this can be used as a way to gauge whether or not a certain action needs to be taken because when we tell those we love and trust with our information our desires, their response helps to form the trajectory of our actions. It can be distracting when others comment on the progress (or lack thereof if it goes slower than their expectations) and it can certainly make someone feel guilty if they state something that in ways beyond their control has yet to come to pass. The purpose of this is so that the person performing the actions to move ahead in life can keep track of how they feel about the moves they’re making and remain connected to what it is they are doing. 
  5. Remain True To YOU. If you believe that the way you’re going to achieve your desired goals is right for you, then do it. People’s opinions will come and go but please understand this: Not everything that you do will be right for someone else and the same can be said vice versa. So stick to remaining true to you in the process and it will work out. The purpose of this is so you can remember for whom you are experiencing these trials, the lows, the ups, the monotonous, mundane pieces of your journey.  YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Remember that should you try to do something that is not you to please other people who will possibly experience none of the hardships personally. 

So there are my lessons.  I’m pretty sure that this next level will be a doozy as well and will yield at least another five lessons on a later date. 

Until next time, I hope you have a great day!

Are You Happening To Things?

Hi everyone!  It’s nice to be writing again. Over the last few weeks, I’ve taken on a new job which threw me out of the loop on some things that I’ve been doing (such as this blog) and I’m just now getting back to them. I hope all is well with you and that you’ve had time to enjoy some of my previous entries as well as other awesome blogs on wordpress.

Happened To Things

Last week, I received a gift from the website that introduced me to my new job.  A card with the above quote from Leonardo da Vinci was inside the gift box. While I’m thankful for the gift, I am more thankful for them introducing me to this quote. I understand they used the quote as praise that I took charge of my life and did something for myself, but the quote is deeper than that to me. To me, it’s a simple reminder that in order for my dreams to come true and for me to achieve the accomplishments I’d like to have, I must happen to things. I can’t sit idly by and wait for them to fall in my lap.  I must get up, get out, and make it happen while having the faith, the courage and the determination not to give up in the meantime.

So, my today’s question of thought to you, my readers, is: Are you happening to things?

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Are you going out and making things happen for yourself? If your goal is too far from your current situation, are you making moves to change that? Have you invested the time and energy to figure out what it may take to achieve your goal? Notice every question asked above has something to do with taking an action. This means that if you want to do something but haven’t even contemplated how you’re going to get to the next step, you’ve got work to do!

With that being said, ask yourself the following questions with regard to the change you’re wanting to make.

  1. What are you willing to do to make this thing happen for yourself?
  2. How far are you willing to go to make this thing happen for yourself?
  3. What happens should this thing not happen for you in the time you desire it to happen?
  4. Is this thing a fad or is this a true desire? Is this a springboard to more or is this a last ditch effort?
  5. Do you believe in yourself enough to do more than the minimum to achieve this goal?
  6. How do you think achieving this goal will make you feel?
  7. Will you think differently about yourself once this thing happens for you? Will you think differently about yourself should this thing not happen for you?
  8. Have you discussed this with someone you trust or have you kept it to yourself?
  9. How soon are you going to start making moves to achieve your dreams? Will not having everything in place when you start deter you from making it happen? If so, why?
  10. Are you willing to make this thing happen for yourself alone? What will happen to that thing if no one was there to support you?

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In the end, an action must take place. When one realizes that inaction on a desire is an action too, they may feel a little more inclined to move in the direction of their wishes. Make the decision to happen to the things you want for your life. Make the choice to no longer sit idly by and hope things get better. Perhaps completing the first action of choosing to change mindsets is where you’re getting stumped. Just jump.  Just take the leap that everything will be okay and go for it. You’re worth it!

Why Must The Weekend Go So Fast?!

Good Monday morning to you!  I hate to do this but I feel the need to start the week off with a rant post given that I was going to start this month off with Motivational Mondays. Perhaps this will encourage Saturdays and Sundays to stick around a little longer. Please note that this has nothing to do with anyone in particular but let me just say that I know there are some people out there who work the weekends and may be off on Mondays.  This rant excludes you because I understand your need for the weekend to fly by as quickly as possible. However, for those of us who get to enjoy the weekend off, you might like this rant.

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Who in the world made the weekend so mad/scared that it comes and goes so quickly now?  Every week when the weekend hits, it’s like it’s fearful of staying a while so it vanishes as quickly as it comes.  Who is messing with the weekend like that? Let it stay a while. Let it linger for a moment so we can all truly relish it.  It’s funny how times change. I remember as a kid loving the weekends because it seemed so long. That’s probably due to me having chores to do around the house and it never seemed to end, but that’s besides the point. Nowadays, I can wake up at 8 a.m., sit on my couch for what seems like a half a second, make and serve my family breakfast and then it’s like 1 p.m. We’ve done nothing. We’ve gone nowhere. We only did one thing which was eat and half the day is gone. By the time me and my family get ready to leave the house, it’s nearly time to think about dinner, which is not always financially and nutritionally ideal to do outside the house. So we come back to square one: home where I sit on my couch for what seems like half a second, make and serve my family dinner (if we did not pick up anything on the way home) and then it’s like bedtime.  Like, the day has decided that it wants zero parts of being the weekend and it wants to go. In that respect, Saturdays are just plain rude. Sundays are not much better because as soon as we get the memo that Sunday is just about over, the Smonday anxieties kick in.

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So, after much deliberation, I’ve decided to forgive the weekend and show it kindness. I even wrote it a short poem called, “Dear Weekend”

Dear Weekend

I love you.

I miss you.

I need you.

So…(take it away SpongeBob Squarepants)

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I’m pretty sure you’ve now got the point. I love my weekends! I love being with the family and enjoying whatever shenanigans we get into together. I’m also pretty certain that I’m not alone in this thought. While I know time waits for no one, I just hope it slows down on the weekends long enough for us to appreciate it. Perhaps each of us would feel a little more relaxed if our weekends were a little more slowed down than the rest of our week.  But for now, our only hope is that government cancels Mondays and by the looks of things, it’s not going to happen.

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Until next time, let’s all hope that this week flies by as quickly as Saturdays and Sundays. But in the meantime, may your week go smoothly and in your favor!

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It’s Funday Friday!

*Now that I begin work on Sunday and will not have the time I used to in order to have these shenanigans with my daughter again, I’m re-posting this blog entry because it’s one of my favorite stories of the first Mother/Daughter trip my kid and I have taken and because it makes me laugh.  I hope you find some enjoyment as well.*

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This evening, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before – take a trip with our four-year old kid alone and by driving the entire distance. Somehow I feel as if I did not completely think this thing through. Or, perhaps I did think it through but circumstances changed and that took my perfectly thought out plan, wadded it up like a tissue paper and tossed it all the while replacing it with its own plan.

But in my quest to be more positive, I’m choosing to look at this as more of a mommy/daughter bonding trip. We’ll laugh and sing and complain about how hungry we are and think the all important question of are we there yet? It’s also a test of my patience,  my negotiating and diplomatic skills and trust of self. It’s best we do this so I’d know how things will run when we do our cross country drive in December.

So for this Funday Friday, I’m listing my top five favorite funny Mother/Daughter memes that will best express my feelings about this weekend.

5.

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My husband asks me all the time, “how does it feel to have to deal with yourself”. This is exactly what he means. She has my rebellious nature and she is none too quick to remind of it. I mention bedtime and I see it. I say she needs to eat something else other than pb&j, the “Little Tina” comes out. I say she needs to change clothes, the attitudes rears its head. Either way, I hate that I have to deal with it but she will be more than force when she necessary. After all, we’re raising a little girl to be strong and independent when she grows up.

4.

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For the same reason under number five, the above meme rings true. Our daughter is too cute and she knows it but her attitude is something else. She was born on an island with a volcano (Sicily, Mt. Etna) and her attitude and actions can erupt just as forceful. Takes a strong set of people to be able to handle her. Besides after her fourth or fifth comment about how something is not done correctly, they’ll want to give her back.

3.

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This child’s second language is called “my wallet”. Anytime we are some place and she sees those coin rides, she insists I have money for her to ride. I tell her that I don’t have any and she wants to check my wallet. If my husband is with us, she’ll ask to see his wallet too. But every single time, without fail, she insists that mommy gets her what she’d like or allows her to ride her favorite rides.  One thing she never does is claim I’m broke. I’m never financially challenged according to her. So glad somebody believes that money belongs with me. Now, will someone be a dear and convince money to believe it needs to stay with me just as much as my daughter believes? Thanks in advance!

2.

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Ah, yes! Our daughter as been in the kitchen with me since before birth. Her preferred meals are all home-cooked and she enjoys being a help in the kitchen. However, whenever I’m making desserts, her first instinct is to look at me with those sweet brown eyes, give me a smile and say, “Mommy, may I have…” It’s too late, I’ve already shoved a beater into her hand while I grab the other. We toast and then we indulge. I’m so proud of myself for remembering to turn the beaters off and dislodge them from the electric hand mixer. I’m such a great mom! Truth is, I hurt my lip trying to lick them while it turning when I was a kid and I don’t want the same to happen with our kid. I don’t know how I would explain that to CPS.

Last but not least…

1.

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I don’t think I need to brag about having this superpower. Just know I can do this along with the addition of a dog, cat, running toilets and loud neighbors. But I digress.

Your Turn

Do you have a favorite Mom meme? If so, let me know in the talk to me section below.

Until next time, wish me luck, great GPS directions, a working Nabi and snacks for the kid and a big bottle of wine for me! I’m pretty sure I will need all of this. In the meantime, I’m leaving you with the Top 10 Mom-isms that I’m absolutely sure most of them will come out of my mouth at some point within the next twenty-four hours.

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The Issue With Missed Opportunities

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What do you think of when I mention the word “Opportunity”?  For some, it may mean chance. For others it may mean their big break. Regardless of what it may mean, it may never mean more to a person than when they miss it. Often times, one can know when that happens to a person after they say a couple of “should-a, could-a, would-a” statements. Phrases like, “I should have took the train to go see her when I had the chance. Now someone else is loving the love of my life,” or “I could have been a chef but I  listened to someone who didn’t think I’d be good at it,” or “I would have flown overseas to visit the Vatican City but I didn’t think I’d get a chance to see the Pope” are often times said after the time to do it has passed and their desires are questioned.

Opportunities are life-changers! They truly are ways that bring about change to our lives, whether for worse or for the better, that lead us in a different direction than where we originally aimed to go. Even for someone who has given up having goals and aspirations, any opportunities given can turn their life around by offering them a new purpose in life. Unfortunately, we can miss these same opportunities because of fear and possibly other life situations.

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This statement is so true in many ways! As often as we have excuses is just as often as someone is standing there, excuse-less, ready to take what has been offered to us.  Sadly, it is the one who lost the opportunity and is unable to find a new opportunity that wonders why is everything wonderful happening to others while they are still stuck in life. It’s easy to get in that place and not get out of it. Therefore, here are three ways to begin to create new opportunities in life.

  1. Expand your horizons. Are you just what your title says you are or is there more to you? Look into those areas for an opportunity.  Are you just staying in your local area? Be willing to travel further distances for an opportunity. Are you just thinking “right now” for your ambitions? Embrace opportunities that will lay the foundation for your ambitions. There are more opportunities out there than what meets the eye but we cannot find them in one centralized box.  Be willing to go the distance to find and attain the opportunities you desire.
  2. Be Willing To Get Dirty For Your Opportunity.  One main gripe about employment opportunities is that they require experience. So what should one do in the meantime when there is a lack of opportunities for a person without adequate experience? Volunteer!  Look for ways to enhance the resume and get some experience.  Laying the groundwork for the opportunity of a lifetime requires sacrifice, hard work, a willing spirit and resilience. Just knowing whether or not one is willing to get “dirty” for their opportunity shows right off the bat whether or not they’re taking this seriously. This stage also shows a person who they are willing to sidestep/overrule/move around to accomplish their goal. One can’t say that they want to be a baker, get the opportunity to do so and then turn it down because someone significant in their life says otherwise. If that continues, one would go through life living it for others but never really living themselves. Break that habit! Get dirty for your opportunity!
  3.  Say YES! So the job doesn’t pay what you thought it would or should: Say yes! The position isn’t full-time: Say yes! The work is a little more complicated than originally thought: Say yes!  Many times, the problem isn’t that there is a lack of opportunity but rather a lack of yeses to the opportunity. It’s almost as if we expect the opportunity to come to us wrapped in a pretty little box with a gorgeous box all on a silver platter and if it’s any less than that, we want to avoid it. We all have to understand that in order to get to the end destination, one has to still drive/fly/swim/run/walk/crawl/paddle/whatever it takes to get there.  As much as one may want to visit Bali, Bali is not going to be any closer to them than they are to it unless that person does something about it.  It takes saying yes, regardless of if it’s verbally or solely through action, to get started. So start saying yes to opportunities that come your way. If it’s meant to be, everything else will figure itself out.

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In one of my favorite movies, Dead Poets Society, John Keating said to his students, “Carpe Diem!! Seize the day! Seize the day boys!” Opportunities are meant to be seized. They are meant to be grabbed with both hands and held on to until it has ended and another opportunity arises. So take the chance! Step out believing in yourself and your talents. Do what you love to do and it will all fall into place.

Until next time, remember this:

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So What.

Yesterday, I discussed the topic, “Not Every Race Is Meant To Be Won” which discussed what to look for when what you want does not come into fruition. Today’s topic is it’s sequel. I want to discuss what happens after one comes into the realization that what they want will not happen.

Often times when one doesn’t get what they want, they say the phrase, “back to the drawing board”.  It’s usually thought that one has to start from the beginning to get their desired end.  What if I said that one didn’t always have to start from the beginning but make their beginning right where they are? Sometimes that’s the hardest part to decide when having to start a new path. Knowing whether to start from scratch or to move on from the current location may be the biggest obstacle one has to tackle. But relax! There’s good news!  The good news is: One realizes that they have to move and move they shall.

Moving away from the situation does three things:

  1. Helps one to restructure their desires, goals, and mindset.
  2. Face the necessary and get rid of the unnecessary.
  3. Brings about new hope.

Whenever I encounter such a moment, I use the phrase, “So What” to let myself know that the pity party is over and that there has to be something that happens now versus later in order to continue the forward motion to my desired outcome.  It’s the first step in my five steps to moving on after disappointment. All of my steps are below.

Tina’s Five Steps to Moving Past a Disappointment

  1. Develop and physically say a phrase that signals that what was wanted didn’t happen and but all is okay. As stated before, my phrase is “so what”, what’s yours? It should be simplistic and natural in nature.  It should not be something that will encourage depressed feelings either.
  2. Immediately think of all the positives that will happen because the desired goal did not come into fruition. For me, I immediately think that I don’t have to drive 45 minutes one way to get there or that I didn’t have to spend so much time away from my family. Any positive thought about it will work at this moment.
  3. Begin to think what can be done in the meantime that will continue the push towards the desired goal . The meantime is the sweetest spot because while it’s not our end destination, it is, however, a time for us to open our minds to more ways of reaching the destination or changing the destination altogether. One personal example of this is in this meantime of being unemployed, I’m working on my health. The question may arise, “how does this push you towards your desired goal?” That’s a great question and here’s how!  If I work on my health, I’m allowed to do the job more efficiently and effectively. This means less time away from work being ill and the ability to do more physical and mental tasks that is placed upon me. The healthier I become in this meantime, the better I could be for my employer when I do become employed.
  4. Get to know yourself even more. This time also helps a person to know themselves better.  Perhaps what was desired had a component that had to be overlooked in order to accomplish it. Why is that so? Why wasn’t the goal good enough in all areas? What’s preventing you from thoroughly enjoying the entire goal? Get to know that about yourself. You might be surprised by the answer.
  5. Understand that one can’t move forward carrying the shame of the disappointment with them. One must let it all go.  Sometimes, especially if it has been spoken about favorably with someone else, it comes back up again. One thing that is difficult to do is letting go of the shame of not reaching your goal in the time you thought you would. Oh boy it’s rough!  Trust me, I know!  But it must happen in order for one to move forward.  You are not the sum of your failures.  You never have been and you never will be.  If you think you are, just know that you are lying to yourself.  Failures only serve as a way to detour you to the direction you’re supposed to go in the first place.  That’s it.

If one practice these steps over time, one will realize that disappoints may sting but they do not have to overtake them.  You are a fighter. You have always been a fighter. The mere fact that you’ve come this far isn’t a sign of someone weak.  You’re so strong and that disappointment should know just how strong you truly are. So show it. Make sure that once you reach your goal, you turn back and see all that you’ve overcome to get there. You’ll see the disappointing times, the tough times, the times where wrong decisions were made and the times where timing was off. You’ll see all of those times that you determined would make you a failure and you will see that you succeeded because of them, not because you succumbed to them.

Until next time, don’t fear disappointments. Embrace them, see them for what they really are and move forward. You’re strong. You’re brave. You can do it!

Not Every Race Is Meant To Be Won

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This month marks six months since I left my job to move to another state.  That means it has been at least one hundred and eighty (180) days since I had a formal title (other than wife and mommy), a desk, a business purpose, and yes, the hours that led to a paycheck. This also means that I’ve been looking for a job for that long as well.

I’ve had my share of job opportunities. Some returned my call. Others have not. I’ve been aggressive in my approach to get my resume out into the area and yet there has been little to no return. Sometimes, it causes panic while other times it turns out to be a blessing in disguise.  To encourage me, my husband reminds me that my average time to land a job is a little over a year. Mentally, I find myself in a race to beat that time. This year, I actually did it. However, when there is no childcare available, it renders a person unavailable to take that position. So one is back to square one again: no job and a small amount of prospects.

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Yesterday, I found myself reading a paragraph on weight loss in an article. It was a weight loss success story and it was a reminder that not every race is meant to be won. That sometimes the true success comes in the journey and the loss instead of the win. Right now, I’m applying that thought to my life.  Let’s be honest, I’m not winning the race to find a job here. I’m not even winning the fastest person to even be considered for a job. It is this very thing that I must come to understand and respect. Let me tell you, it’s not easy.

But I will say this: one can’t ask the Universe for something, take all the actions against what was asked and then get mad when the Universe grants the very thing that was initially asked. For example, I asked for some time to get my health together. I wanted to be fitter, more mentally stable, just all-around healthier for myself and my family. I have a goal and I want to actually achieve it since our kid is old enough to need me less where I can do more things for myself – like exercise.  Now I have the time. No job = more time for me and you know what? I’m going to take it and run with it.

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Does this mean I’m giving up the job search? No. But it does mean that it will not consume my life like it has been in the past. It means whatever interest I have will be put to the front. It means that my kid can enjoy mommy more without wondering if every call I receive will mean that our time is shortened. It means that I can breathe a sigh of relief because I applied to a job I didn’t want just so I can say I have a job. It means that I can figure out who I am aside from being a wife and mother. In reality, that’s the race I need to win anyway. The race to find out who I am, what’s my purpose, do something about it and enjoy life before my time here is done.

So if you’re going through something similar, remember, not every race is meant to be won. Not every time are we meant to have something fall in our favor. Learn whatever lesson is presented to you in the struggle, apply it to your life and don’t worry about what’s next. Why? Because it helps us to appreciate the times when it did work in our favor. It’s the gateway to learning the lesson life was trying to teach us in a different way. It’s a reminder to do what you love, not what you must in the meantime. Please don’t think that it’s a reason not to do something about your situation. Keep in mind I’m still job searching. However, it’s not the main focus anymore. I am the main focus and I encourage you, my readers, to make yourself the focus too.

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Until next time, as Jesse Jackson once said, “Keep Hope Alive” and know that this too shall pass. There will come a day when you will win the race that was set before you and that you will look back on your journey to your success with gratitude and pride. However, until that day, work on you. Better yourself in every way so that when your time comes, no one, including yourself, can stop it.

 

Memorial Day Weekend

It’s here!!  It’s finally here! The weekend many have waited for. The unofficial beginning of summer where it seems like every other house has a grill going, music playing and (if there’s not a shortage of water) inflatable and hard bottomed kiddie pools galore. Usually this weekend is filled with beach trips, suntan lotion and late night chats.  However, for some, it’s filled with sadness and sweet memories that will never fade or be replaced with new memories with that person.

For some, this will never be the beautiful, glorious weekend those of us who’ve been blessed to be allowed to experience. So many have given the ultimate sacrifice so that others would never experience, the call or knock at the door telling them their loved one is gone due to war.

So if you’re planning to be out and about this weekend and you happen to see a veteran walking around, please do not tell them Happy Memorial Day. You may, if you so choose, thank them for their service but please do not tie it to Memorial Day. Some of them may be walking around thinking of their fellow service member who did not make it home when they did and because of that, it can be a tough holiday for them as well. For us, it will always be a time of remembrance for MA2 Sean Brazas who was called to go to the front lines one month before my husband. He lost his life and it was his spot my husband was to replace seven weeks after we had our daughter. You may remember me speaking about my husband and his job in post about Max the Movie.

MA 2 Sean Brazas
MA2 Sean Brazas

So you see, while this day is one of happiness and relaxation for some, there is always someone out there who has the watch so they can be happy and relaxed. Sometimes these people don’t make it back home to see their families and friends. That’s who we’re to remember. That’s who we’re to never forget. They paid the price for us to do that and we should honor their ultimate payment.

Until next time, hug your family and friends tighter, say a prayer for the families of the fallen and think of those who lost their lives defending your ability to enjoy this holiday. By the way, my family and I will be observing the holiday so my next post will be Tuesday, 29 May.

Have a safe and relaxing weekend!

Memorial Day

 

Being Right Doesn’t Make You…Right

*UPDATE: I decided to re-post this blog posting again. It seems that the lesson bears repeating far more than it does to sit idle. Have a great day and remember, TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!!!!!*

Right or Wrong

I love the above quote because it’s so true. One can’t be right forever and when they fail to be correct, it seems that there is zero shortage of those who will forget it. However, what happens if you’re right but the way you went about it was wrong? What do you think they offended party would remember most?

I had a disagreement recently with my husband over something that is already trivial in today’s society: our kid’s appearance. Fact of the matter is that despite how our child feels about herself, her appearance is already being called into question. Our common belief is that she deserves to look and feel her best but what that means is where we differ. We went over an hour trying to convince each other why we were right, all the while being wrong.  We were wrong for the way we talked to each other, the way we raised our voices at one another and the way we used different scenarios to get our manipulated points across.

So who won? Which one of us were right? We won’t remember if either one of us were right. We will remember, however, the smile on our child’s face as her appearance gets her stamp of approval. We will remember how we spoke to one another. We will remember the feelings we felt when we talked roughly to each other.We will remember the difference in how we thought about the discussion and our attempts to be right. But again, we still won’t remember who was right.

In the end, please remember that in your quest to be right, don’t forget that even if the result wind up in your favor, the other party may still feel you’re wrong simply because of the way you addressed the matter. And that’s where the work or restoration and healing begins.

Until next time, remember being right doesn’t mean you’re right if the other party is offended by the way you reached your right status.  Change that and the future of your relationships may go even more smoothly.

right

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