Last night, I watched a horror movie. I’m not a person who enjoys scary movies at all. I’m the type to open the windows, doors, all blinds and have a blanket at the ready for me to use as a covering for my head when the scenes are something I cannot tolerate. I’m the type that has to watch comedies after the scary movie in order to calm down from watching it. Yes, I have fears from watching scary movies. Many people have the same fears as well. But the fears in today’s post is all about the fear of living out a dream or goal.
When I was a kid, I had a goal that I would travel around the world. I wanted to experience different countries and enjoy their cultures. I wanted to learn more about people in other lands and how they viewed life. This goal was sent into hyper-overdrive when I learned about sociology. Sociology opened my eyes to everything I had always dreamed of doing. It encouraged traveling and learning about people of different cultures and lands. I loved it and wanted to minor in it in college. However, the fears of others (authoritative, parental) superseded my dreams which allowed them to make choices for me that in reality was not the best for me. Now that’s become my biggest nemesis and fear. My fear is that I prevent my child from doing what she loves because of my fears. For example, my daughter loves to perform gymnastics. When she first started out at age two, I was fearful of her hurting herself. But after seeing her go through the program for at least a year, she has blossomed into a wonderful tumbler who has kept my fears at bay. Without research, discussions and watching other kids her age go through the program, I may have never let her realize and work on her talents.
The above image means a great deal to me because it gets to real reason of my fears. If I refused to let my daughter go through the program, it would be because I was afraid of her becoming even more independent while doing a pretty big thing and she wouldn’t need me anymore. It’s not because of her hurting herself like I originally thought. I know exactly what to do if she hurt herself but I’m lost in knowing my place in her world as she becomes more independent. Sometimes the real reason is scarier than the reason we’ve given ourselves; however, we will still have to face it all head on – whether we like it or not.
Fear stagnates anyone who encounters it. It causes self-doubt and thoughts of worthlessness and possibly other fears, which usually gets projected onto others. Fear can be healthy but it also can be crippling when we allow ourselves to stop living life based on those fears including the ones we project onto others.
Until next time, try to identify the fears in your life that can be alleviated by confronting the real source of your fears. You may find yourself freer and less riddled with anxiety once you realize it was all something different than you imagined it to be.