A pastime of my husband and I when we are off is to watch court shows. From the civil court shows to relationship court shows, we love to watch them. Sometimes we just watch them for the drama of them, but most times we’re watching to see how blatant is the lie coming from either the plaintiff or the defendant. Those lies can often times range from what has been done with the plaintiff’s items to whether or not the defendant slept with another person. Whatever the reason for those people to be in court, what they hope the end result would yield is honesty. But how honest is too honest?
I’m a person who has been known for telling the truth regardless of the tact it takes to tell it. It’s true, I don’t really observe how it’s said because the truth is the truth, right? Did I care that the truth might be painful for that person to hear? No. Why? Because the truth is the truth. My goal was for the person to know the truth. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. I generally don’t think about the consequences of telling the truth because the truth is the truth and the truth is supposed to set me free. As often as I felt free, I also felt caged. Why? Because it was those times that I realized there are some who cannot handle the truth. I was being too honest with people who couldn’t handle my level of honesty. I didn’t realize that the person with whom I was sharing my honesty flinched when I said it. I didn’t observe that the person’s view of anyone else involved with the situation about which I’m being honest was negatively being changed. I didn’t care enough about the person with whom I was sharing my honesty to check how my honesty was affecting them. Basically put, while I felt amazing that I was sharing the truth with someone, I had zero consideration for the person receiving it. I was being too honest with someone who couldn’t handle the truth at that time.
As precious and rare as complete honesty is, not everyone is equipped to give it. Those court shows prove this really well. Often times, the one who doesn’t feel as if they are at fault usually feels that way because they are believing the lies they’re using in court to avoid the consequence. At the end of the show, most of the time, the one speaking the lies usually professes love for the other and begs forgiveness. While it is understandable that the other may not be as willing to forgive or reciprocate a profession of love, it always confusing to me when we had just finished watching twenty plus minutes of a court room show where horrible words were passed back and forth and lies were being converted to the truth are now “okay” with the person who was seeking honesty from the beginning. It also baffles me how fast someone will change their words from the despicable and degrading to loving when they have to pay the consequence and they cannot do so in the manner mandated. Those are cheap people. They are people who will say anything and everything in order to not pay for the consequences of their actions.
In my effort to be my best self, I will always be honest because no one deserves to have a cheap version of me in their corner. However, I will seek more tactful ways of telling the truth. It will not be the easiest thing I do simply because I care about the truth as much as I do about the person with whom I’m sharing the truth but it is something that must be done because they deserve warm, tender loving care as the side dish to the cold, hard truth.
Until next time, evaluate how you’re telling someone the truth. Are you being too honest? Are you unaware that you may be at risk for losing people in your life by the way you’re telling the truth? What can you do about it? Are you willing to do something about it? No matter what, you’re wonderful just for being honest. Let’s be great by caring about how we’re being honest when others are involved. You never know the impact being tactful will have on the one receiving the truth.