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Nobody stays the same. Nothing last forever. The person you were five years ago isn’t the same as the one that’s reading this sentence today. As a matter of scientific fact, for the most part, our bodies regenerate every seven to ten years.  Scientifically, this means we’re not the same person as we once were physically. Now that’s easy to see on birthdays or when we look through pictures from our childhood until present day. But not so easy to see when our personalities change. Why? Because our personalities change due to our experiences.

I was a tomboy for a long time. Even today, I have tomboy tendencies but I have definitely changed. I remember when I was first examining myself to explain to others what I wanted in a potential mate. I thought about how I dressed, how I acted, how I spoke and how different it was from the ladies who were looking the way I wanted to look, getting the guys I wanted to have, basically living the life I wanted. However, I wasn’t ready to make those changes. Changes have to not only be desired but actions have to be taken and if one is not ready to make those changes, the alterations may not last if they were even started in the first place.

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Everybody need reasons to change. It does not matter what the reason for the change may be, the mere fact that a change needs to be made must be respected. Not only by the person making the change but by those with which the person making the change interacts. It matters not that the change may be weight loss, smoking, the development and maintenance of a certain routine or anything else, respect must be given to it. This suggests a person must give due regard for what the other person is doing to change, even if that means the changing person no longer shares that commonality with them. It requires flexibility and adaptation by all parties when someone changes. It’s not just a solo action.

An example of this is when I began to change my tomboy ways. There were things that my husband had to get used to when I did them. He had to get used to the things I wanted to do. He had to get used to the way I wanted to be treated.  You see, our first date was in the park where we wrestled. That’s right, we wrestled in the park on our first date.  However, as I grew older, I no longer wanted to wrestle. I wanted to be cuddled. I wanted to be held and treasured. I wanted doors to be opened for me and for him not to walk almost fifty feet in front of me despite us being in conversation. As I saw more actions and things that I liked, I made changes to do and acquire them. Not all of them stuck (i.e. weight loss programs and plans) but I was still glad to make those changes.

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Sometimes, changes are made due to how a person feels about themselves. Currently, the changes I am making are for that reason. But that does not mean the memories of me and the way I was that are held in the mind of my husband, our kid, my parents, my siblings and other with whom I have come in contact are magically erased. As a matter of fact, I think they are amplified. They were used to that person. They were used to not doing or completely doing something for me but since I have made changes, their role in my life have also changed. Not all of them are totally accepted and that’s because of the memories others have about me. Truth is, I have to respect that about them as I go through my changes.  I have to respect that their memory of me may be stronger in their mind than their part to play in my change. Not only do I have to respect it, I have to be okay with it enough to make sure the changes continue to happen with or without them.

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Until next time, evaluate the changes you are making in your life. Know that it is natural for changes to be made and that not all of them will stick. Know that not all of them will be welcomed by everyone. Know that not all of the reasons for your changes will be on the same level as you will eventually give priority to one over the others. Finally, remember that once the changes begin, the world around you will shift. People and opportunities may come in and go out of your life at a moment’s notice. If you are truly ready for the changes you’re making, rest assured you are fully equipped to handle each person and opportunity that enters or exits your life. There is no need to hold on to them or question your decision to make changes. It’s all apart of the process for in the end, everything will be changed, including you.  Just know it all begins and ends with you and that’s what matters most.

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