Hi everyone! I’ve been away due to work and now I’m ready with more thoughts and questions. So let’s get started.

Have you ever talked to someone who always gives advice but their lives seems to never reflect that they used the advice they give out?  They may give the advice to get an education to advance to the next level of your career but they won’t do it?  They may give the advice to eat healthy and to stay away from alcohol, but they will go to the fattest, most unhealthiest restaurant and order a pint of beer with their greasiest hamburger and fries.  They may give the best financial advice but can’t rub two nickels together to help them survive from paycheck to paycheck. Do you know someone like that?

I do. Actually, throughout my life, I’ve encountered quite a few, many of which are in my family. It’s for this reason why on this blog it is my honest attempt to not give advice on here but to offer a perspective I’ve experienced so that you can see another view and make the right decision for yourself. I have a firm belief that we all know what to do already but we either needs someone to help bring it out of us or someone to mirror us so that we can make the changes necessary. However, it has also been my experience that those who dole out advice can sometimes not listen and heed the advice they’ve been given. That, my friends, aggravates me to no end. It’s almost as if they feel as if they are the end all, be all of advice; like if someone else gave the advice, it’s not worth entertaining or heeding.  It feels as if they think they are beyond advisement.

Nothing’s worse than when that person’s lack of listening to advice given by others affect their loved ones.  That’s right. Like John Donne said in his poem “No Man Is An Island”, no man is an island unto himself meaning others are affected by another’s decision, action, and/or feeling. We’re not in this by ourselves and for those who refuse to take the advice of others, they doom those around them to whatever consequence that comes their way.  How fair is that? How fair is that to subject someone to your decision without give due regard to their thoughts on the decision?  They’ve got to go through it too. As beautifully stated in the new movie Fences with Viola Davis and Denzel Washington, those who choose to stand by those who refuse to take their advice must go through it with them.

The one thing those who advise others should understand is this: if you are making a choice without the advice and consideration of others your decision will affect, you are subjecting them to your consequences as well. They stand with you. They go through the struggles with you. They go through all of this because of the love they have for you. However, just because they stay with you doesn’t mean they deserve any adversity because they wanted to be witnesses to your greatness.  What I mean is that if you choose to take a considerable portion of your check and go to the casino without the advice and consideration of those who it will affect but your family choose to stay with you, they should not have to experience the result of your irresponsibility should things not work as well as you thought.  Or, if you decide to eat unhealthily, your family should not suffer because of your choices. Or, if you decided that you know everything there is to know about your job and you feel further education is unnecessary because you’re waiting on someone else to recognize your hard work for an advancement before you do anything else, your family shouldn’t have to suffer because of your refusal to be better in the meantime.

Until next time, consider the advice that you issue out to others versus the amount you take in for yourself and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Which is more?
  2. Why is it more?
  3. Are you okay subjecting the people you love the most to the consequences of your self-advised decision?
  4. What, if anything, can they say to get you to incorporate their advice to you?
  5. Will you take more advice from others in the future, even if it doesn’t initially seem as if success will happen within your expected time?

Have a great day!