How many times have we seen the bumper stickers that say “Be The Change You Wish To See In The World”? I’ve seen it. I’ve said it to others. I’ve since learned that it was just a summary of the above true statement but still the sentiments remain the same with regards to whom change belongs.
Last Monday, I embarked upon a journey to better health. However, in doing so, I have taken the “Be The Change” statement and modified it to fit my true need. I’ll discuss that in a minute. As for now, let me share with you why I had to change the statement. When I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) twenty years ago by an endocrinologist, I felt hopeless. I was beyond scared and I was mad at God, my parents and life. My endocrinologist, at the time, was the first of many to tell me to just lose weight and it should help with things. I ask how and there was no answer given. Since him, I’ve had at least ten other doctors to tell me the same thing yet not give me an answer as to how I was to accomplish this. With a lack of direction and a desperation to be healthier so I can have a child with my husband, I embarked on many paths that led to nowhere. From diet pills to starvation to saying words of discontinuance when I’m standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom with a knife ready to literally cut the fat off of my body, I have been beyond done with being overweight – at least that’s what I thought.
In truth, what I happened to be fed up with was not having the help I needed when I should have had it. I went to doctors that were knowledgeable about what it is but not about the whys or hows to manage it properly. Oh sure, they threw pills at me constantly wanting me to take them. If I asked what they [the pills] did and how they were to help me get pregnant, they often replied that I should concentrate on getting the weight down first and then they could discuss pregnancy with me. I was angry because nothing they did helped me to get the weight off. They offered me nothing but thirty minutes and prescriptions. For years upon years, I’ve fought to do as they have asked by taking every single medication and lose the weight but with little to no success. When the weight kept piling on, they simply told me to cut back. I did as they asked and the weight still went up. Finally, a nutritionist at a cardiology clinic showed me a way and I lost sixty pounds under her observation which is how we wound up getting pregnant twice within six months of my last visit with her. But the weight returned and has steadily increased over time with only one major successful weight loss in 2015.
Unfortunately, it’s taken twenty years for me to learn a lesson. This lesson is now my motto for this current journey. As they say, hindsight is 20/20 but I’m so thankful that what I can see from my past now is coming up clear. It shows me the missing piece of the puzzle is the key to my success. It happens to be the same lesson that I’ve learned which is:
“Be the change you wish others would have helped you become in your life.”
Now I know that it’s not a mind-blowing statement or motto but it’s one that will carry me far in my process because it’s one of the reasons why I didn’t succeed. I confused their lack of knowledge of how to help me succeed with indifference. They weren’t indifferent, they were unintelligent about how to help me. They had all the smarts to diagnose me and to explain what it is but that’s when it stopped. I was on my own. If I could change anything about my past with doctors, I would change my desire for others to shape me into the person I wanted to be. That has always hindered me in my weight loss journey. For some reason, I would always want someone to hold my hand or coddle me in some way as if I was a helpless creature. I didn’t realize they were just as helpless to help me as I was in helping myself. I didn’t realize that just as much as they were asking me to be the hero in my own story, they were telling me they couldn’t be the hero I wanted them to be in my story. They were relinquishing the role before I realized it was me they wanted to play that part. It’s unfortunate that it took me so long to realize it but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I can just take what I now understand and use it for my benefit now.
This week, I’m going to give four ways to help yourself be the change you wish others would have been in your life. However, today, I’ll give you a brief overview of what the topics will be:
- Become the expert you wish you had in your life.
- Become the guinea pig you wished others had been in your life.
- Become the student you wished you could have been if others led you.
- Become the fearless achiever you knew you could have been if others directed you.
Until next time, find something you want to be change you wish others would have helped you become in your life and join me on this quest to success. We can do it! After all, no one is going to do it. If they were, they would have done it by now.